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5 Types of Singaporean Students

5 Aug 2016 by Venetia Sng

We’ve all been through school at some point in our lives and whether we like it or not, it’s very much like how they portray it in the movies or shows (maybe less drama). We talk about the most common types of students we see in school, everyone’s bound to have these types of students mentioned below in your class. Heck, you might even be one of them.

#1 The Mugger

Taking Notes Mugger Meme

They can be your saviour or your worst enemy. For days when you forget to do your homework or were on MC, the ‘Mugger’ could just save your day if they’re willing to share. If they aren’t the nice kind, they’ll be the ones reminding your teacher of the assignment that the whole class didn’t do but them.

#2 Neat Freak

Neat Freak Attack On Titan

You know that guy/girl who has everything on their tables placed at specific spots and has everything labeled including their stationery? Yeap, never lose a pen you borrow from them ’cause you’ll never hear the end of it. Plus if you’re sitting next to them, make sure your elbow never cross to the restricted areas (aka their side) if you don’t want death stares.

#3 Class Clown

Fairly Oddparents Class Clown

He/she wants to be everyone’s friend, they didn’t ask to be the class clown but wouldn’t mind it anyway ’cause they’re a people pleaser. No matter if they’re the good kind or the annoying kind, they just want to be liked and socially accepted.

#4 Queen Bee

Queen Bee Regina George Meme

This person believes everyone goes to school just to see her and basically everything else is about her. They start every morning by telling everyone what they did over the weekend, what new stuff they got and hates it when someone has the same item they have. If they feel that someone is threatening their position on “top”, they will do whatever it takes to end the person’s social life.

#5 Always Late

Always Late Meme

No matter if they stay very far or just 5 minutes away from school, they are always late and are forever sleepy. No one ever knows what they’re up to out of school and it’s will remain a mystery. They’ve tried all kinds of methods to sneak into school and have served enough detention to last a lifetime.

Teachers.. either they are godsent or made of your worst nightmares. No matter, Teachers’ Day is coming and we compile a list of the 5 (most common) types of teachers we see in Singapore here.

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8 Fun Facts About Singapore

1 Aug 2016 by Teenage

This year, we’re celebrating 51 years of independence and yet another year of achievements on our tiny island. Here are some fun facts you probably never knew about Singapore that proves that we’re more than just a dot on the map!

#1 We’re the tallest in ASEAN with an average height of 171cm for males and 160cm for females.

ASEAN Average Height

#2 The most common Chinese surnames in Singapore are Tan, Lim and Lee.

#3 19 new Singlish terms like blur, ang moh and shiok have been added into the Oxford Dictionary this year.

Shiok Oxford English Dictionary

#4 Singapore produces the largest Yakult bottles in Southeast Asia at 80ml.

Singapore Yakult

#5 We walk at an average speed of 60 feet in 10.55 seconds, making us the fastest walkers in the world.

#6 The Bukit Timah Nature Reserve contains more species of trees than the whole of North America.

#7 The youngest person to pass the GCE ‘O’ Level Chemistry paper int he world is a 7-year-old Singaporean boy.

#8 Opened in 1994, the Singapore Night Safari is the world’s first night zoo with over 2,500 nocturnal animals.

Singapore Night Safari

Read more Singapore fun facts in our August issue available in all newsstands!

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5 Must-Do Tips To Get Over The Ex

27 Jul 2016 by Teenage

Getting heartbroken pretty much sucks, but trust us when we say that you’ll definitely come out of it stronger. Here are some tried-and-true tips to shorten your heartache time and get over that ex pronto!

#1 Get real sad

It sounds ironic that we’re encouraging you to wallow in sadness, but part of getting over someone is accepting that your relationship has ended. And you can’t do that without allowing yourself to ‘grieve’, which understandably takes some time. Put on some sad songs, watch The Notebook, or do whatever makes you bawl… It’s okay to be upset, and emotionally ‘detoxing’ will make you feel real good in a jiffy. Just don’t wallow for too long!

#2 Rationalise your feelings

So you guys broke up. Guess what? The world still moves on, and it’s yet another day. Instead of wailing on about your breakup, rationalise your feelings no matter how hard it is. Why did your relationship end? Was it because of something you did, and was he/she worth it anyway? If it’s your mistake, correct yourself and move on. If it’s your ex’s, even better – dust yourself off and walk away. Why bother with someone who doesn’t really care enough to not hurt you anyway?

#3 Talk to your friends

Instead of putting your feelings on Facebook/Twitter (as we all sometimes do), try turning to trusted friends instead. One tends to over inflate microscopic issues while mulling over problems alone, so having an extra pair of ears to listen and give helpful advice will ease your emotional burden tremendously. True friends will not only be understanding and empathetic towards you, but provide you the shoulders to cry on. After all, relationships may fail but friendships are the only ships that never sink.

#4 Avoid his/her social media

Peeking at an ex’s social media platforms is just like popping an ugly pimple – tons of pain and possible leaving permanent scares. Admit it: you don’t need to check on whether she’s cryptic-tweeting about you, or if he’s happier with that other chick, because it’s literally none of your beeswax now. Curb your curiosity and even better, delete them off your feed. You can’t move on if you’re stalking them 24/7 right?

#5 Realise the perks of being single

It may not seem this way right now, but trust us: being single while you’re young may be the best thing that has happened to you. Look at it this way, you’ll be free to make friends, travel the world and gain experiences only a singleton can, Start by getting out of your house, meeting your old friends, getting a hobby… Basically things you’ve always wanted to try but didn’t because he/she didn’t want to. Embrace your singlehood!

Got any effective tips to share with us? Let us know by commenting below!

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5 Types of Singaporean Teachers

22 Jul 2016 by Venetia Sng

Everyone has had an experience with a bad teacher and for those who have had a great teacher, you are so very lucky ’cause they’re rare like a Mew. No matter if they’re godsent or made of your worst nightmares, Teachers’ Day is coming and we compile a list of the 5 (most common) types of teachers we see in Singapore.

#1 The PE Teacher

PE Teacher Meme 1

PE Teacher Meme 2

How to identify them: Constantly in their workout attire 24/7, yes even on special occasions like Racial Harmony Day, National Day etc. Their choice of punishment is exercise, no detention.

#2 The Unhelpful Teacher

Unhelpful Teacher Meme 1

Unhelpful Teacher Meme 2

How to identify them: Never seem to be helpful in anyway whatsoever. If someone asks a question during class, they’ll redirect the question back to the students or go off topic without really answering the actual question at the end of the day.

#3 The Detention Teacher

Detention Teacher Meme 1

Detention Teacher Meme 2

How to identify them: They give detention for EVERY SINGLE THING. Skirt too short? Off you go. Ran along the corridor? *hands you a detention slip* Nails slightly too long? You know where to go.. Hair too wet? Detention kthanksbye.

#4 The Monotonous Teacher

Boring Teacher Meme 1

Boring Teacher Meme 2

How to identify them: By their iconic monotonous voice duh. Everyone (including the teachers) try to avoid them if possible, because even a normal conversation with a monotonous teacher might just put you to sleep. 

#5 Everyone’s Favourite Teacher

Favourite Teacher Meme 1

How to identify them: They always make an effort to make class fun, teaches you important skills in life that aren’t covered in our normal curriculum and are always very encouraging even though their students aren’t the most thankful.

Appreciate these rare gems and don’t ever try to piss them off ’cause they are usually very scary when you overstep your boundary and push their buttons.

Favourite Teacher Meme 2

A good teacher isn’t just someone who just teaches from the books – they guide us, influence us and impart wisdom to us. If you think your teacher is what we’ve just described, nominate them for Teenage Favourite Teacher Award to show how much your appreciate their hard work! Registration ends on 16 Aug 2016!

Campus

Online Trolls And How To Deal With Them

24 Jun 2016 by Felicia Tan

While some trolls are genuinely humorous, we also have the other group of trolls who are just plain annoying. We classify these people into 4 categories and we share with you how to deal with them.

According to Wikipedia (aka our best friend), a troll is a person who sows discord on the internet by starting arguments or upsetting people. Typically, they post inflammatory, sarcastic or off-topic messages in an online feed to provoke the reading audience.

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Image Credit: Thelibertybeacon.com

#1 The Grammar Nazi

Grammar Nazis snoop around the internet all day long in hopes of finding any spelling/grammatical error. In fact, we reckon that they are physically unable to not single out every single mistake they see on the internet. Also, they tend to ignore the content of your text.

Easy+way+to+comfort+a+grammar+nazi+i+love+grammar_6b1486_3612572Image Credit: Funnyjunk.com

Our Advice:
For starters, you should proofread your text before clicking send/submit. In extreme cases, you can employ the help of the grammar-check sites online. Otherwise, insert a non-relevant Shakespeare’s quote or any excerpt written in Old English. We would love to see them correct that.

Ye seken lond and see for your wynnynges,
As wise folk ye knowen all th’estaat
Of regnes; ye been fadres of tydynges
And tales, bothe of pees and of debaat.

The Man of Law’s Tale

#2 The Sheldon Cooper

While Grammar Nazis pick on your grammar, Sheldon Coopers of the internet pick on your content. That said, let’s give them some credit alright? They do seem to know everything; from the blueprint of the White House to your Mum’s first name. And while they take on the role of a lawyer, a doctor, a politician and an engineer online, we know that, offline, they are often just overgrown teenagers, mentally and physically.

sheldon-cooper-quotes-facebook-coverImage Credit: Hdfbcover.com

Our Advice:
For these Know-it-alls, we recommend using a method of reverse psychology to kick them down the troll-field. For example, you can start your text by saying “I’m sure some of you will disagree with me but I feel …” or, “This might sound silly but I …”. Play yourself down a notch to silence these Sheldon Coopers once and for all. If all else fails, try the broken-record method (See below).

You: I swear Singapore is the hottest place on Earth.
The Sheldon Cooper: No, I disagree. The hottest place on Earth is El Azizia, Libya, where the highest temperature ever measured on Earth was recorded.
You: I swear Singapore is the hottest place on Earth.
The Sheldon Cooper: … Did you see what I typed? …
You: I swear Singapore is the hottest place on Earth.
The Sheldon Cooper:
You: I swear Singapore is the hottest place on Earth.
You: I swear Singapore is the hottest place on Earth.
You: I swear Singapore is the hottest place on Earth.

You-Mad-Bro-Meme-Face

#3 The Bored Hater

This group of trolls not only has too much time on their hands, but also has too much black in their hearts. They move from place to place, spewing hate comments and click on the “dislike” button whenever they can. Their posts and comments are often vile, racist, sexist and ageist. In short, they are just out to (virtually) spit on everyone’s face.

Our Advice:
The one thing that haters want from the online community is attention. They want to piss you off and they love it when people get upset. So, instead of shooing them off, just ignore them. If no one pays attention to their nonsense, they’ll eventually disappear. 

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#4 THE SCREAMER @#$%^&*@#$%^&*

The Screamers are always angry. If anyone says anything even remotely critical to the Screamer, HE/SHE WILL REPLY IN CAPS AND START INSULTING/CURSING AT YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY. They hate the very existence of every living-being on Earth. They hate happy people, sad people, cats, dogs and even babies. In fact, we are pretty sure that they hate themselves. 

41a655c83a95ea5e266cb10c6eb9f49aImage Credit: Pinterest.com

Our Advice:
We would love to steal their caps lock key but since there’s no way we can do that, we recommend the next best option; blocking them. Arguing with screamers is like yelling at a wall; it will literally get you nowhere. So stop feeding the troll, hit the “Block” button and walk away.

How do you deal with internet trolls? Share with us in the comments below! 

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